All the people ...

As a child, my oldest memories go back to me testing a shiny new pen on the collared and squiggled pad at a store and writing neatly in an upward angle and front slant perfect cursive writing ... all the people ... I dont know why but I did always write that phrase to test any new writing instrument. As I grew older I would think back and reflect at my wonder years and this would always come to my mind ... I cant seem to trace back to the memory of why I wrote the phrase but I do know that from my youngest times all the people around me ... mattered ... I wanted them to like me ... and it mattered a lot to me that ALL THE PEOPLE liked me ... and the bubbly smiley me never denyed an onlooker (sometimes even a rank stranger) a smile, or a friend a warm smiley hiiiii! And even to this date people matter to me ... I guess they do to us all!?

Thru my life I would have met thousands of people that I have personally interacted with and liked so much ... family, friends, colleagues, business associates, strangers and it is amazing how some people remain close to yur heart even though the interaction may have been the briefest and how a part of them has in some way made me what I am today.

One such person is JERRY ... it was a dark, stormy night as I drove back from work in my good old Matiz feeling not unlike a sardine, packed in the typical end-of-day grotesque traffic snarl of Mumbai ... listening and singing along with mukesh' lilting songs on the stereo and just as I was at a high note, the car reached the top end of the incline on the Andheri flyover and I pumped the clutch n break for the nth time in the inching homeward journey, my car came to a sudden grinding halt!@#$% ... I turned the ignition several times but to no avail ... this cant be happening to me yaar!?! Desperate honking of the cars behind me deafened my ears ... HONK HONK ... %$#@^ HONK HONK ... cars drove past me as I desperately tried all my tactics to revive the engine but as luck would have it my car was stone dead!!! I pulled the hand brake and stepped out of the car into the rain and apologetically waved my hand to fellow sufferers cursing and shaking their heads at me as they sped off on their ways ... I thought hard about how to get out of the situation!? I really didnt know what to do ... I got back into the car and tried to get through to my husband who said that if I could push the car to the side somehow and just leave it there with the emergency lights on we could deal with it later ... it was impossible for me to push the car in this traffic with cars not leaving an inch of space for me to budge + I just didnt have the strength or the skill to manouever the car in the rain at the top of an incline ... Oh God help me please ... Knock knock on my window ... there was someone knocking for me to open ... as I brought the glass down a young boy about the age of 21-22 (I was closing 40 at this time), "Hi my name is Jerry ... I guess you need some help - please put your car in the neutral gear so I can push you to the side" ... There is a God!!! I mutely followed instrutions and soon I was successfully pushed to the side of the road ... he then said, "if its okay with you will you let me try to start your car -- you sit in the passenger seat" a thought crossed, 'Should I trust him? Shut up woman ... you dont have a choice' so I moved over and he jumped in and tried his best ... no luck again! He then said, "Wait here I will organise some help for you". Before I could say 'thanks for trying to help' he was speeding down the maze of vehicles ... and I stood outside getting wet craning my neck over the traffic to keep sight of him ... as passersby looked my way ...'tsk tsk ... bechari ... kya hua Madam' ... some gave knowing smiles - but none of them stopped to help! 10 minutes passed and I gave up. I locked the car, took out the deck, car papers and slung my bag to trudge down the hill, 'I guess now that the car is parked on the side we can pick it up in the morning ... ' just then I saw my friend in need rushing up towards me ... he had a mechanic with him who opened the car and said, 'madam battery bilkul gayela hai aapka'. Meanwhile Jerry had disappeared again ... I then saw that a car was reversing up the drive ... it was Jerry! He had parked his car ahead when he saw me stranded and had run back to help me out. He then tied my car' bumper to his car and took the drivers seat and the mechanic drove his car as he towed us all the way down the hill to Juhu Galli ... by this time my husband had also arrived. He negotiated with the mechanic and thanked Jerry profusely ... Jerry was not at the end of his angelic self ... He then towed us all the way home. I was clearly smitten by his sheer nicety ... what a truly wonderful angel he was! I took his number and the next morning I thanked him again ... some months later my mobile got lost and with that I lost Jerry' number too ... forever ... but he has left a huge impression on my life ... I often think of him and say a silent prayer that he is well and happy ... see it does matter to me still that he is well and happy ... Cheers to your life Jerry! and hope there are many more people like you in this world...

Basking in Laungurous Goa

This summer we took a road trip to Goa yet again!!? Why Nu why??? We’ve been there so many times ... 14 times in 19 years of marriage ... SIGH ... please please do lets try a new destination! But it is a great destination and plus we can drive there!!! The week of 16-23 May was booked, leave was applied for and sanctioned and as the time came closer we started getting excited about the trip!

16 May 09 -- We were on our way with our bags, boogie board and gaddi at 5 in the morning. The kids slept thru quite a bit of the journey while Fruki drove pretty much non-stop all the way on NH 14 with a 45min halt at Kamat's at 8.30 for south-Indian breakfast a little short of Mahad. We reached the outskirts of Goa at 2.30 and decided to do lunch at Coqueiro (which is coconut in Portuguese). We ordered fish curry and prawn curry rice while the kids drank iced tea and Nu and I ordered a beer and Margarita respectively … and we were feeling groooooovy :) The goan relaxed mood was set in and we embraced the Goan hospitality with open hearts. We reached the Haathi Mahal, which is situated in South Goa and checked into Villa112. The kids ran into the pool while we stocked the fridge and kitchen with key provisions. After the kids came back we learnt that they had already made friends and they had made a plan to meet up after dinner. We freshened up, ordered room service and enjoyed dinner together while watching Jab We Met for the nth time (it is always a treat to watch) … while flipping thru the channels during a commercial break we came across the ManU vs Arsenal match which ended in a draw thus declaring ManU the winner of the season … My thoughts went out to little Mishal and Abhinav watching the match live in the first row at the Old Trafford Stadium at Manchester … we had made it possible for him and it made me feel warm from within about the fact that we had been able to keep up to our commitment. I had developed an allergic sneezing bout by the time dinner was over so I popped an anti-allergent … I passed out while trying to read a few lines of Shashi Tharoor’ India.

17 May 09 -- We rose early considering we were really tired from the journey the day before and the anti-allergent. I made our favourite elaichi chai and Nu and I sipped on it in the balcony as the kids sleepily slumped into chairs too. Raunaq fed two cats that had found their way into balcony with some milk – they lapped it all up hungrily. We then quickly changed into our costumes and hit the beach. The water was great and the weather perfect so the kids and Nu rode the water scooter and also did the parasailing. We then walked back to the hotel and jumped into the pool and enjoyed breakfast at the floating bar. We lunched at Mikes where I had the best ever Veg Xacuti with rice, lime and green chillies and a Mojitto to down it :) I sacked out for an hour post the heavy lunch and then joined the kids at the pool in the evening where they participated in a swimming competition with other children. Roshni and Raunaq came in 4th and 5th respectively. We had elaichi tea and toasts at the pool. This was followed by Pool Volley Ball with adults and kids alike. Nu joined in to play VB and later played water polo too. We changed after this fun activity at the pool and went for dinner to the Casa Lisboa restaurant at the hotel where we had some traditional Goan performers dancing for us – this was followed by dancing to loads of fun live music and dinner. The kids met their new pals Vijit, Pritham, Sanaya and Gauran after dinner while Nu and I chatted at the pool-side.

18 May 09 – The next morning we did breakfast in the room – eggs, toast, milk and juice and then got ready to receive Ma and Pa at Madgaon. It was so good to see them :) We had lunch at the Lisboa again and Mum and I enjoyed a Margarita each while Papa and Nu had beers. Post lunch the kids freaked out with their new pals while we caught up on some sleep. After tea in the evening, we changed into costumes and went for a dip in the pool – the best part was to see Ma and Pa there too in their adorable costumes :) Mum looked unsteady initially but eventually did some paddling around while Papa joined in with the kids and youngsters to play a few rounds of water polo. We ended the day with dinner at Fishermans wharf where we had a trumpeter serenading us with some of the best melodies of time.

19 May 09 -- We started the day with a cup of tea and a walk on the beach with Ma and Pa which was very refreshing and we got some great pictures too :0 We then drove to the famous St. Francis Church in old Goa -- Mum wanted to join the ceremonies but that was not allowed. We bought a few memorablia and then went to Panjim on an endless tiring walk in the sun to buy Kajus and then later had lunch. The kids ate Dominoes Pizza while we had Mughlai at Moti Mahal. We formally met with Sandeep and Dolly Mehra (Gauran’ parents) and Puneeta and Rohan Singh (Vijit and Saisha’ parents). Mum and I then relaxed in the pool while the kids, Nu and papa played water polo – we ended the day by ordering room service instead of stepping out as Ma and Pa were very tired from the days activities. We taught Ma and Pa how to play UNO and had a blast as the two of them erred continually and kep ket caught as they kept forgetting to say pUNO ;)) Papa kept saying PUNO loudly instead of UNO while declaring his game! It was really funny.

20 May 09 – The next day was a blast in its own way as we decided to hit the beach with all the other friends we made i.e. The Mehra’s and Singh’s and all the kids and us with Ma and Pa. The gang included – 6 of us; Sandeep, dolly, sanaya and gauran; puneeta, vijit and saisha; ananya, jhanvi, devika, divya, kancha and their dad and mum – over 20 of us freaking out together. The waters were roaring and hence an absolute thrill to be in. The kids had a blast, boogie-boarding as well and playing water polo in the midst of the huge waves that pelowed us :) Papa also played ball with the boys while mama waddled around in the water and sat in about 5 inches of water next to dolly and believe it or not but she slipped and actually swallowed a bit of water in the process ... she was quite dazed for a bit after this sudden mishap but enjoyed the rest of the beach experience. Breakfast consisted of sandwiches and juices at the poolside and followed up by lunch in the room. The evening was spent playing UNO with Ma and Pa and having chai. They also had sandwiches and juice before leaving for Mumbai and packed cutlets for their onward journey. Nu and I went to drop them off in the Neeta sleeper bus – which was really very odd from the inside as they expected two complete strangers to share a berth. Very very odd indeed!!!?! We had planned to go for dinner to Martin’ Corner but by the time we got back to the room from dropping Mapa; Rosh was fast asleep so we ordered some room service instead of going out anywhere.

21 May 09 – The day was spent lounging at the swimming pool, eating some delicious fish and prawns for lunch at JoeCons – Rosh stayed back as her stomach was aching. When we got back Sandeep was over with his kids. We spent the afternoon talking about our families and watching the IPL match. In the evening the activity centre organised a dance competition which was being judged by none other than Nu :) It was great fun watching all the kids of all sizes freaking out to their creation of dance steps ;) Raunaq did a "maa da ladla bigad gaya" jig with Gauran while the girls Rosh, Pranika, Sanaya and Ananya danced to "Desi Girl" with the boys i.e. Gauran, Raunaq, Dhruv and Dev joining in towards the end ... The evening ended in a crescendo with all the children on stage grooving together. We spent the evening at the Mehra' Villa 92 where Dolly treated us to baked chicken and bhel along with drinks and snacks. All in all a great evening spent perfectly. We returned to our villa close to 11PM and packed furiously. The kids were forced to return back much to the chagrin of Dhruv, Gauran, Dev and Sanaya but we did retire nevertheless as we just had to get to bed as we returning home the next morning.

22 May 09 -- We started the drive back at 6.40 and took the route via Nipani and the Kolhapur national highway 4 and stopped only at Macdonalds for a quick drive thru burger. I took the wheel from Pune to all the way back and we were home by 6.30PM ... although we had a great trip and got back some fun memories it was good to be back to "home sweet home"!

EGG-JHAAAAAMS!!!

Today is a bank holiday on account of Ram Navmi ... the birth of Ram and the day that most devout north Indian hindus also perform the ritual of Kanjka -- as a kid we would love this day as Papa and mama would wash our feet, treat us to halwa puri and channas and also give us money, so am at home with Rosh and Rock while they pretend to study for their EGG-JHAAAAAMS looming up large and commencing with a bang (both have Maths on day 1) on 06 April 09!!! Poor babies have so much to cover and so little time on hand ... And I wonder with a fidget as to how they will ever cover their enormous portions with all the distractions that keep popping up into their lives -- calls, emails, SMS's, friends, TV, basket ball, the new found 'Rave', problems of friends, problems of their own!!!?!

All the best my dolls ... Insha-allah all will be well with all your subjects [I am crossing my toes, fingers and eyes for that :)))]

Surprise Party -- JB, Natti, Rosh, Baby Shaikh turns 15!!!

Last Sunday was 22 March 09 and with Roshni's 15th birthday coming up in four days our lil baby got up from her beauty sleep feeling anxious as ever, about what she would do and wear on the big day -- as usual the exams loomed ahead for all her pals and her, and despite toying with several ideas we just didn't come to a conclusion all thru the day. What we did however achieve on Sunday, was a splurge at a couple of the Malls around our home and at Lokhandwala market' boutique stores -- the young lady was richer by several garments and beamed at herself saying, "Thanks for all the clothes Mom -- I guess we'll celebrate after the exams and we can do a family dinner on my birthday".

Manic Monday arrived and I was fretful about several to-do's at work. At about 5pm I got a call from Rosh and while listening to her animated description of her day at school, my heart kept gnawing at me about the fact that our baby was turning 15 and we were doing nothing grand about it (I know she loves grand things at her age) ... My eyes filled in as I thought of the troubled times she has been thru lately and I resolved that I really did want to celebrate this day for her and show her how many people love her ... I impulsively called a few typical party venues and everything was so unnecessarily exorbitant ... so I called Mum/Papli to check if they would let us use their home as the venue. Mum graciously agreed and said that they would be happy to help in whatever way they could too... Yeaaay!!!!! I was making headway, having achieved the first milestone!

I then called Honey (Fruki' niece) for help with organizing a DJ ... she suggested I speak with Manav instead. Manav was as resourceful as ever and assured me he would speak with his friend who was a DJ and get back to me with his rate and confirmation by EOD. He did call EOD... at dinner time in fact (and since I hate getting up from my meal Fruki picked up the phone) and Manav blurted out the DJ confirmation to Fruki (now Fruki is the last person on this earth to trust a secret with -- he just cannot contain secrets!!! So, I had intentionally not shared any of the plans for the party with him or the kids). Fruki was obviously puzzled at what Manav was saying and gave the phone to me with a quizzical look saying, 'Manav ka phone hai - tumne phone kiya tha kya?' (by this time I had gobbled my last few bites so I ran to get the phone from him hoping that Manav had not done the mindless blurt to my dear hubby ... Alas!!! I was too late and Manav had given Fruki the rate and the confirmation. Nevertheless, I swore Fruki to secrecy (which of course is pointless ... its not that he will blurt out the secret... but he has this habbit of pretending to be puking out what he is dying to say to the effect that the person who is hiding from knows, for sure that something is cooking ... ) uuuuuuuuughhhh he is sooooooooooooooooo annoying!!!! In any case, the fact was that the DJ Ruchir had confirmed to be there for the party on the 26th and would be at the venue by 5.30 for setting up so that all would be ready before the surprise for Rosh at 7pm. Ruchir also asked me to suggest the list of favorite songs that I would like played (I got Dia darling to give me the names of some key numbers / bands). Manav also suggested that we order Biryani from Noorani' at Haji Ali -- chicken tikka and paneer tikka is what he highly recommended. Milestone 2 & 3 had been achieved!

Fruki of course was bursting with very obvious gesticulations like doing the hussle with a silly smile on his face and holding his hand to his mouth in front of Rosh each time she came in front of him or was in the room with him ... its actually very comical and Raunaq and I had a tough time trying to contain himself! By this time which was Tuesday morning 24th March, Rosh was guessing that something was surely amiss. Rock had to be told about the secret as I wanted some of his pals to come for the party too (his pals are absolute squeezable babies -- and they are not yet Young Adults (YA's) (most kids; at least Roshni' pals don't like to be called as kids anymore... Sigh!!!)

Then started the calls to the YA's and Ankita was the first I spoke with amongst the girls and Rohan amongst the boys. They both were mighty excited; Ankita said it was a great idea to have a surprise party and Rohan assured me that he "wouldn't miss the party for the world" -- God bless him for being such a genuine sweetheart. I then drafted an SMS-invite for the YA's and block sent it to them. The confirmations from Rosh' girl school mates were instantaneous -- Dia, Aditi, Arnavaz, Paridhi, Pritika, Kanak, Ritika, Shriya and the boys Molin and Shaun. Molin was a darling and assured me he would get the others from their class to join the party - Sahej and Sid. It was working like clockwork. I had also invited the building gang and had told Rock to invite his friends. Prateek SMSed his confirmation and offered his help in whatever way I might need -- he too was a sweetheart and cam eback to me with confirmations of AP, Aditi and himself. He said that Saurav, Sanjana and Rohit would not make it as they had their 10th Eco paper on the following day!!!:( It was Understandable -- also it was unlikely that Asjad would make it as his parents would not give him permission!? SAAAAAD ... as I know that Rosh would have loved to have all of them there. It would somehow be incomplete... even though some many others were going to make it. The evening before was spent making calls to each of the kids to re-confirm their participation -- I also succeeded in getting thru to Saurav, ordering the cake, ordering the food, arranging for a balloon specialist to decorate the house, asking MaPa to organize the soft drinks and curd (for the delicious mint dip that are a treat with butter wafers and Rosh' favorite snack), buying the Stephanie Myer series for Rosh and giving instructions and coaching to Fruki and Raunaq on what each of them needed to do and say :)

Rosh talking with Saurav and getting greeted by Sanjana

The big night arrived ... I mean the night of 25th March, 12 midnight -- and Sanjana who had been secretly coordinating with me to be there to wish Roshni personally at sharp 12; gave me an SMS stating she was outside our door (where do these YA's get their energy!!?) at the dot of 12. I was yawning my head off thinking of the next day at work as I opened the door and gave her a whispered big hug ... she carried with her a chocolate pastry and a candle, a rose and a card -- we lit the candle and then I called out to Rosh to come to the living room -- Meanwhile since it was already just 12 midnight she was already on the phone with Saurav (the first to wish her) -- she jumped with joy at seeing Sanjana and loads of photos and hugs and kisses were exchanged ;)) I hugged her, Fruki also got up hearing the chatter, while Raunaq had wished her a few minutes before 12 and passed out for the day; the four of us had a tiny pastry cutting ceremony for her :) It was a beautiful moment and the 16th year of my baby' life had just begun!!
The next morning the 3 of us woke up Roshni with the traditional happy birthday singing around her bed and gave her the gift, a butterfly gas balloon and cards -- she beamed with joy saying thank you so much trying to open her eyes! We led her to the living room where the delicious pineapple cake awaited her -- as she blew the candle out, I prayed silently for all her wishes to come true. She was thrilled to see the books and squeezed the balloon saying thanks Mom, Papi and Raunaq!! Off to getting ready then, into one set of her new clothes looking as adorable and gorgeous as ever!


I battled several issues at work thru the day in the hope that I would leave by 3.00 - No luck!!%$#@; as my boss was busy as hell and I just couldn't time with her before that ... Sigh ... WHAT DO DI DO!?? I had started getting frantic calls from Papa and Rosh asking when I was getting home!? Soon ... is all I could say!? I finally just left at 4.30 as I would have gotten really late for the party and would have not made it in time for the surprise that I had put together. I reached Mum's place by 6.00pm after a frustrating ride thanks to a really daft cabbie I had hired. Fruki was already there with the cake (with JB [acronym for Jaat Buddhi - this is what her Gang calls her?!!], Natti, Rosh and Baby Shaikh [this is what darling Dia calls my baby] iced onto it) and crisp butter wafers. I started making the dip and told Mum and Pa to PLEASE clear up the mess they had made with all the dhaniya and pudina they were peeling on the dining table. In the middle of all this maddness Rosh kept calling me to check on when I would get home and what the plan for the evening was -- I told her I was on my way home and that we were going for dinner with Nana and Nani. Fruki suddenly said that I should not go and pick up the kids, "Let them take a rick". Rosh the princess refused to take a Rick and said she wanted to be picked up PLEASE. So Fruki went to fetch them. Meanwhile, the guests started arriving in groups of 4-5 and soon we had over 30 YA's all over the house -- the music blared to the latest hits and all of them kept asking when Rosh was to arrive while moving to their favorite tunes!?

Fruki finally did arrive with Rosh and Raunaq and made a pretence call to me to come down with Mum and Pa. I said 'Come up yaar for God's sake [I just couldn’t bare the suspense any longer and my anxiety of making this surprise actually happen was it its all time high] as Mama wanted Rosh to cut a cake before leaving'. Rosh was quite disgruntled to have to break journey as she was very hungry and wanted to get to the restaurant soon and she protested that we could cut the cake there ... she trudged up reluctantly while I took a couple of minutes to quieten the YA's as they were cackling with excitement about the final moment by now and debating if the deck should play happy birthday or if they should sing it instead ... SHHHHHHHHHH I said just do whatever comes to your mind then ... I peeped thru the peep-hole and saw them stepping out of the lift and coming to the door and then ringing the bell ... I opened the door and said Hi darling ... HAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPY BIIIIIIIIIIRRTHDAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY screamed everyone as Rosh cupped her mouth and jumped with joy ... seeing all her friends in amazement. Almost everyone I had invited was there -- Dia, Ankita, Aditi, Shriya, Arnavaz, Pritika, Kanak, Paridhi, Ritika, Molin, Sahej, Ayush, Yash, Fauvi, Shaun, Saurav, Sanjana, Prateek, Rohit, Akshay, Praneeta, Aditi, Ayushi, Aditya, Shashu, Yathu, Harsh, Avtej, Rohan, Aishni, Mateen and Farishta. We first cut the cake and then clicked a group picture of the entire gang and then the music took off to a blast as they swayed and moved to the beat of all the latest hip hop numbers ... I do believe that the YA's did have a great time after all ... To complete the evening finally Asjad, Akhlad and Azhad arrived towards the end for a few minutes just to give Rosh a bouquet ... I know my Rosh had a beautiful day ... I did too ... God bless you my princess for many many more!!!!

Fruki, Rosh, Rock and me moving with the beat :)

The GANG -- Saurav, Rohit, Rosh, Sanjana, AP and Prateek with Praneeta, Ayushi and Aditi

Houseful of YA's

Trudging thru fast-paced Mumbai %@#$

I was thrilled when I got a confirmed placement with an mnc bank, at their Worli, Mumbai head office and yet, after my final meeting with HR, on my way home at 6.30 pm in the evening, I had mixed feelings about the commute; as when I stepped out of the office gate no taxi was willing to go to the closest train station, busses seemed crowded and I was unsure of which one to take … so I decided to take a taxi … and of course the traffic was chock-a-block -- by the time I got home it was 8.45pm … my face looked dirty but happy, my hair was frazzled and my wallet was lighter by Rs.300 … and thru dinner thoughts of the commute kept gnawing me … Sigh!

Ever since my first day at work; which was 14 August 2008, I have tried several modes of transport and felt that a chronicle of my experiences would be a fun read:

1. Self-drive to office: For the first few days I drove to office and went insane, not only with the traffic but also at the end of it finding a parking spot at Nehru Centre. The attendants at the parking lot insisted that I leave the car keys behind with them. Although I was really uncomfortable about leaving the keys behind, I had to do so because there was just no free parking space -- all spaces were reserved for people who had bought a monthly pass. The next morning I paid up for the monthly pass which was Rs.1000. I asked for the receipt and he said that they do not issue one – clearly it was a racket and these attendants were simply pocketing the money. The next 2 days went fine as he allowed me to park in one of the empty spaces. However, on day 5, I found that there was no space and he was asking for my keys again. He said “Madam kya karega aaj bahut saab log gadi leke aya hai” Drat!!! I obviously could not do anything but hand him the keys. The parking experience was new every morning and I would get to office with a frown on my brow :( The evening drive home was an altogether different punishment as the traffic would inch forward and there was never a need to drive beyond 20 km/hour. I would leave the office at about 7.30 or so. Despite playing my choice of music in the car and catching up on long conversations hands-free the journey, needless to say the journey was long and exhaustive and would get me home never before 9.45. Having spent much of my energy commuting I would hardly be in a mood to be more than pleasant with my family and of course my wallet would be lighter by Rs.500 every one and half days so I would be spending at least Rs.2500 every week on petrol + the parking charges that I had already committed to. If only I could get parking in the office building but I am told that the cost per month for a parking lot is 40K!@#$ This arrangement of travel was costing me Rs.11000 bucks … never mind said Fruki at least you are comfortable while commuting!?!

2. Driver driving me to office: Once the launch of the club happened it was necessary to have a driver as I had to meet with clients across the city and arrive in a cool and composed state. So, we decided to hire a driver. Along came Rakesh the classic driver from Bihar with a copy of his license and a sugary keenness to work for a salary of Rs.7000 and nothing less – “Ussey kam mein to kaise chalega Madamji”. I told his there would be late hours and long travel to different locales of the city. He was over excited about the opportunity and said he would arrive the next morning. He did arrive, and always did arrive at sharp 7.45AM standing at attention with a slight forward bend in his stance saying, "Good Morning Madamji". He would open the door for me to sit and switch on my pre-set Gayatri Mantra Chant and the AC at just the temperature that I liked and I would be off feeling nothing short of a queen :) However as soon as we were on the main road, his driving which was filled several instances of rash lane cutting causing peeved drivers to race up and abuse him and look disapprovingly at me as well started giving my brow lines that deepened to the affect that I finally shouted out at him, ”Rakesh tum kaise gaadi chalatey ho”. The first few days he didn’t say any thing but slowly he would start getting upset and when commuters abused him he would look back at them saying, “Kya hai” and then proceed to grumble below his breath for the next few minutes. To add to the madness he was very poor with road navigation so I would have to keep my eyes open and be alert all thru our escapades thru the city. On my way to a meeting in Andheri East (he had driven me there thrice before) I got involved in a complex conversation with another client and so was not paying attention to where we were heading – on emerging from my conversation I looked around to find we were lost and it took us a while to get back to the actual destination – I was late for my meeting thanks to the detour our dear over-smart driver had taken. I asked him, “ Agar tum ko raasta nahin samajh raha tha to tumhein rukna chahiye than na!?” to which he said, “Arrey Madamji aap baat kar rahe they aur main to theek aa raha tha … raasta pata nahin kaise badal gaya” I wanted to throttle him! On one day I was busy at work and the security officer called me saying my driver has come to meet me at the front gate. I went to see what was the problem and there was Rakesh virtually in tears, “Madamji hamar batua kisi ney maar liya hai – usme hamara license aur paisa sad chala gaya hai – hum garmi ke maarey shirt utaarey huey the aur hamari ankh lag gayi thi – jaane kab kissi ney batua shirt ki jeb sey nikaal liya” Poor guy … looked miserable. I gave him some money and asked him to immediately go write a complaint for a re-issue of his license. One good thing we discovered after parking the balance few days at Nehru Centre was that there was another option of parking space for which we did not have to pay any money – Worli Sea-face was where a lot of the office staff would park. Another benefit I gained was that my petrol bill came down a bit – this I learned from Rakesh was because the attendants at the Nehru Centre parking lot would steal petrol when I would leave the keys with them. So, although the conveniences were many of having Rakesh drive me around; the angst of constantly being angry with his rash lane cutting and his argumentative behavior defending his driving flaws and top it all the cost of the commute which was now close to Rs.17000 a month (too steep a price for my liking – but seemed justified as Roshni could use him for the long drive into town for her SPB class plus Mom and Papa could also use the comfort when required to make long commutes – it’s a different thing that Roshni’ SPB abruptly came to an end and Mum and Pa never used the car), just made me want a change! One fine evening Rakesh said that he wants a loan of Rs.10000. He had worked with me for just over two months and he was already asking for a loan to pay the deposit of his rented apartment. Nu and I decided not to oblige him. Two days after this incident he said he needed to visit his village as his brother had run away and was missing from home for the past one week. I let him go giving him an advance of Rs.2000 from his next salary. On returning after 4 days he was grumpier than ever! A week later he abruptly said that he would have to leave back for his village and his return was uncertain as there was nobody to look after his home and farmland … SIGH!%$# Now what!?

3. Meanwhile, on the several days of Rakesh’ absence the next obvious commute for me seemed to be a taxi which would cost me about Rs.450 a day i.e. approx Rs.11500 per month. I also tried a rick and taxi combination for a few days on my way to office that failed miserably and also worked out marginally cheaper but the time to commute invariably would be the same – I would get off from the rick at Bandra Talaab and look for a cab to Worli. To my frustration; no cab would be willing to go as they found the journey too short and, “Uskey baad khaali jana padta hai kyunki subah ke time worli sey koi bhaada nahin milta”! So, I was taking the taxi all the way from home to office and back for several days and would always feel guilty about the serious waste of time and money.

4. On one evening, while looking for a cab to Bandra outside the office I strayed towards the bus-stop adjoining our gate and discovered bus No.33 drive up (I had remembered Nu often telling of taking this bus from town). On an impulse I jumped in and to my pleasant surprise even got a seat within the next 5 mins at a FOR LADIES ONLY designated seat. The ticket conductor clicked by with his familiar bag of change and box of tickets and tore me a ticket for Rs.12 (I quickly did my math and realised that if this arrangement worked it would mean a monthly expense of not more than Rs.625 ONLY!!!!) I thanked the conductor with a broad smile and looked around to take in my surroundings – the bus was clean, well lit up with several tube-lights and so I could read - yippeee, fellow commuters were courteous and a mixed bag of all parts of India and something about that made me feel good, the ventilation was ideal and above all the bus dropped me virtually outside Fame Adlabs … this seemed the ideal solution!!? Nu too was amused that I was contemplating the bus everyday but also added that if it suited my convenience it would be ideal. Sure enough, the next day onwards my joy started crumbling once again – the busses would be delayed and often not even halt at the bus-stop and the route it takes i.e. via shiv-sena bhavan and then enroute to Siddhivinayak Temple … mornings would invariably get me into office later than my usual time and evening I would get home later as there would always be a waiting period before a bus arrived.

5. One evening while waiting for the 33 to arrive I saw a fancy AC bus drive up and the plank said BRTS 4 Oshiwara Depot. I once again jumped in impulsively. The fare was 35 bucks all the way to Lokhandwala. The seats were spacious, the bus was well lit, FM was playing on the system and the fellow commuters were the typical white collar executives. Felt good and the math proved not so bad too Rs.1820 per month!! The additional good things about this option are that the bus has an every 15 mins schedule and it takes the Shivaji Park, Mahim, Linking Road, Juhu route so the journey is quite much similar to any comfortable car journey and I do believe that this is actually one of the best alternatives to arrive comfortably at your destination. The one and only bane is that these busses are freezing cold so when I am not carrying a jacket I just don’t take the bus as I shake like a leaf for the long 2 hour+ journey. For some reason with regular progression the traffic has been getting worse and worse and any road journey past 8.15 in the morning and past 6.00 in the evening is a frustrating, slow experience (the god-dammed sky walk being built at Bandra has further worsened the situation) Sigh …just when I thought I had found the ideal solution I was saddened to know otherwise :(

6. On one frustrating morning when I had missed the BRTS 4 that gets me to office on time, and the cabbies at Bandra refused to take me to worli; I walked to Bandra station, walked unabashedly to the front of the long winding line at the ticket counter and bought a first class ticket and went up to platform no 5. Within seconds a train halted, there was some frantic jostling and muttering and ouching but I was safely in the train and within the next 15 mins flat I was at Bombay Central! I walked out and hailed a cab for Poonam Chambers and just as I was getting in 3 other commuters wanting to go to Poonam jumped in with me – we shared the fare which was 28 bucks and therefore just 7 bucks per head and believe it or not I was in my office in 15 mins – had I stuck to the road route I would still be caught in traffic somewhere at Mahim… that evening I accompanied some colleagues to Bombay Central station and took the train back too. The journey door to door i.e. from my office building to my doorstep was a flat 1 hour and gathered that the same would be the case in the mornings!!!! The next morning, I bought a first class monthly pass (I thought it best to try out this option before committing to more) from Jogeshwari to Bombay Central (Getting to Andheri in the morning is a nightmare thanks to the crazy traffic + getting into the train at Andheri requires a mastery in train travel – which clearly I am inept at), which cost me Rs.400 and the road fares per day add up to about Rs.75 per day and this math works out to a comfortable Rs.2350 per month!!! Not bad at all – in fact damn good. The journey is invariably spent standing but is never more than 30 mins and the ladies, well what can I say, as always, it is a mixed bag and mixed experiences on each day with a lot of - body massaging specially in the mornings, dirty looks, dry looks, tsk tsk tsk please madam you are poking me …, the rear most girl/lady will holler imploringly array yaar please move ahead no I am falling out, OUCH followed by closed eyes and deeeeeeep sighs and finally a look that says I wish I could kill you, fourth seaters balance on a quarter of a bum but still stubbornly continue to sit and at every few minutes turn to the other 3 seat members to “please move little” … that is what the 3 ladies do they just move their bodies in the same place and the situation continues till someone else gets up to leave; what hasn’t changed is the desperation to jump into the train and the eagerness to grab a seat and the pointing your finger at a lady sitting being enough communication to prompt a response about her destination … I usually have a squeezing experience when I board the train at Jogeshwari and then stand to a side once the crowd becomes less at Bandra. On the journey home, getting in at Bombay Central and getting off at Andheri is hurried but not that bad at all … the only challenge that remains with this commute is the getting a rick from Andheri station to home … I need to ask 15 0 20 ricks before I get one to agree to take me (this is all thanks to the metro construction happening in full swing on JP Road, which they say will take 2-3 years to complete) … Sigh!! Getting off at Jogeshwari is a pain too as the long winding ride thru the market takes forever! So, I guess Andheri station is my best option and take a bus from there if a rick doesnt happen within the first few minutes.

It’s been 6 months since I joined work and I have tried 6 modes of commuting to work and all of them have their positives and negatives, pleasant moments and nasty ones and as I look back I do believe that none of the services match the speed of the train commute and price albeit more expensive than the bus 33 option is really worth it. I do still take an occasional taxi to work or the rick taxi combo (I have learnt if I take a rick up to Santacruz and then take a cab from there the cabbies are more than willing to go to Worli) or even the 33 or BRTS 4 if get off early from work and contemplate trying out the contract bus as an option. However, when I want to make certain my time to destination I choose nothing but the train. My pass is coming up for renewal soon – I plan to renew it for sure :)

Becoming Mom

1.30pm, 26 of March 1994 was the time and moment that Dr. Ashok Bhatt of Excel Nursing Home, at 19th Road Khar, Mumbai, said with a dramatic smile as he held up my wiggly wailing baby that had just been scooped out of my dissected tummy; “Priya you have a beautiful baby girl and all her toes and fingers are perfect” … I cried out with a burst of emotion as tears of joy rolled out and asked to hold my princess to my chest; Bhatt obliged albeit briefly, before my baby was whisked away to a counter to my right … as I strained to watch the nurses tending to her, her image started blurring and within a few seconds (I guess) I lost consciousness. When I next opened my eyes; I could see Farrukh smiling down at me and the joy on his face was apparent -- he had become a father … where is she I croaked, “so rahi hai baju key room mein” he said. I asked to see her. The nurse brought her in to me. My princess was all tied up in white and blue linen and her eyes were firmly shut. She had a few remnants of the calcification white peels on her forhead (thanks to her birth being delayed) -- the sight of her angelic face made me feel ethereal, as if I had been blessed to mother this little treasure … and I suddenly felt so close to God ... it felt like I was holding god in my arms. I held her at my left side with her lil head resting on my arm and firmly hugged her to my body whispering a silent prayer over her … at this point she awoke and her lovely eyes looked about and her lips opened to, as if say, 'Hi Mom' … I touched her left cheek with my right finger and said 'Hi my princess, I am your mama', her mouth promptly opened and she swiftly turned her head towards my hand and she started wiggling in my arms as if trying to search for something.
The nurse prompted me, “She is finding milk. Will you feed her or should I get her a bottle”
“I will feed her ... but I don’t know how to”
“Don’t worry she will know how to”

As I placed my unsure breast to my baby’s right cheek (while she was busy trying to reach out to my hand on her left) she magically took the cue, turned her head towards me and swiftly grabbed my breast with her mouth and started suckling as if she had done this forever. It was a magical moment for me, that took several minutes for me to get used to, while our lady was guzzling milk and intermittently gasping for breath after every few sips and then promptly getting back to the task at hand. We all laughed at her intelligence and ability to cope with the situation with so much ease and I felt that I was the luckiest woman on earth. When Baji suggested, "Priya iska naam Roshni kaisa rahega?" "Haan" I said with pleasure, "Badhiya rahega -- it is so fitting and perfect Baji" ... my princess ROSHNI had brought so much light and delight into our home.

Thru her growing years Roshni continued to amaze me … the only few baby words that Roshni spoke were ‘daban’ for ‘get down’, ‘anga’ for ‘ice-cream’ and ‘Natti’ for ‘Roshni’; the rest of her English expression was immaculate; she always appeared confident and intelligent and knew how to get her way with all the key people in her life – she would unabashedly ask to be taken 'daban' and once she was down she would point in the direction of the ice-cream store and say 'Anga' with great joy and a smile would appear on her face the moment the shop keeper gave the ice-cream in her little hand -- she would lap up the Quality Walls Vanilla ice-cream to the last drop (The Walls factory has a lot to thank Roshni for); she walked at 9 months and a few days and spoke 3-4 word sentences in perfect English diction before she was 1; she danced to Bollywood tunes in perfect rhythm at her first birthday party which was celebrated on the Carter Road terrace; she learnt by heart several ladybird books as I read the stories to her ... on completing the story she would say 'Mama again' and 'again' and 'again'; she was comfortable using the computer at the age of 2 years and would manoeuver the mouse thru all the complex clicks that the several Jumpstart CD’s demanded and even learnt all the games therein; she always had the perfect sense of dressing and style from an early age and like her parents, was Ms. Vanity Fair from the time she realized that the person in the mirror was her (the first time she could express herself she said ‘Mama baby’ pointing to her reflection and thought that there was another girl with her mommy in the mirror - I reassured her that it was her by kissing her face and showing that the baby had the same dress as her – after which, every time she passed the mirror she would point, smile and say Natti and then laugh out loud); as she grew she understood emotional bonds shown in complex movies with immense maturity; her teachers (Ms. Geeta @ Little Bo Beep, Bandra would always sing praise of her intelligence and artistic talents); our friends would amaze at her speech skills, style and confidence; she displayed leadership qualities from a very early age (which would be seen in the amount of kids who wanted to befriend her and would circle around her to seek her approval and love right from the time we lived at Mira Road to date); her sensitivity to people around her (on several instances she would cause eyebrows to lift at her insight on, the best course of action to be taken in an emotionally strung moment, or assessing who is upset and why and offer an amazingly thought thru solution or draw a perfect character sketch of an adult that would completely blow the person away, or know how to end a fight amongst friends even if it meant hurting herself in the process); and above all whenever I have been insecure about anything; it is she who I turn to without a thought -- she is my patient listener, my shoulder to cry on, my guardian angel, giving me the right solutions ALWAYS with so much ease that her capacity to be such a beautiful soul simply amazes me till date ... all of these innumerable experiences of my daughter are held within the warmth of my heart forever and make be believe that she is an angel in my life and I am proud to be her mother...

When I told Rosh about my second pregnancy, she was really excited that she was going to get a baby in the house and would make up long stories about the baby and her (her stories were always so creative and endless). When I was due for my delivery Dr. Kiran Coelho (my gyneac) said upfront, that I will need to have a cesarean again and suggested either the 9th or 11th of October as optional dates for the surgery. I wanted my baby sooner and so chose to go in on the 9th. While leaving home on the 9th morning my Roshni was still sleeping looking as beautiful as ever. I kissed her goodbye with tears rolling down my cheeks and whispered into her ears that I am going to get her a baby to play with. She blabbered something in her sleep and turned her side ... I hugged her firmly knowing that by going into surgery I was taking the risk of never seeing my princess again and even the thought pained me to think how her mind would adjust to my absence (a mother does believe she is the central focus of her baby -- which is true … and yet I know of enough fathers who do a wonderful single-parenting job with their children). I turned to Farrukh and made him promise that if something irreversible happened to me in that OT he would never let my Rosh get neglected and always support her despite whatever and whoever ... he assured me he would! Mum, Papa, Apaji, Daddy and Farrukh were with me before I went into the OT and they all assured my about Roshni' well being.

As I gained consciousness in the gloomy OT on 09 Oct 1996 at Holy Family Hospital, I felt excruciating pain in my abdomen and then realized I was all alone in the room and the lights were out -- the first thought that came to my mind was that something horrible had gone wrong -- Why am I still in the darkened OT all alone? What has happened to my baby? (I had been given General Anesthesia after the epidural injection failed to have the adequate numbing effect on my abdomen and limbs) ... and I started crying; I then heard some nurses chattering in marathi in the background and I called out to them as loudly as I could with my croaky and hoarse voice, "Nurse mera bachcha kahan hai?". "Arrey tum hosh mein kaise aaya? Ladka hua hai tumko, baba family ke saath bahar hai" One of them then rolled me out of the OT into a corridor, where she said I will be, till I was allotted a room!! Ignoring the pain and discomfort I screamed, "Please mujhe mera baby dikhao ". Within a few minutes, I heard mamas voice saying, "Congratulations Priya, for your handsome son" and she showed me my precious son -- he looked angelic and his skin was fair and pink ... his eyes were closed and his lil fists were out of the blue linen already! I hugged him as tightly as I could and wept bitterly thanking God for blessing me with parenthood twice around. Soon I was joined by Apaji, Farrukh, Papa and Daddy who all looked thrilled with the newest addition in the family. Apaji had distributed money the moment she got the news, Daddy had gushed and cried with joy at the news of his grandson being born and above all Fruki was skipping about with excitement. Anj suggested we name him Raunaq which was again very fitting considering the excitement he brought into the house on his arrival (Roshni and Raunaq also sounded good together). Roshni came to visit me in the hospital during the visiting hours – I think it was about 6 in the evening. She was in Farrukh’ lap and was wearing her best dress to meet her bhaiya. She grinned on seeing me in bed and said,”He is so pink Mama”. She snuggled up next to me in my bed and wanted to hold Raunaq in her lap. I let her touch his cheeks, “He is so soft and cute Mama”. “Do you like him darling?” I said. “Yes, thank you so much for giving me such a cute baby Mama”

Raunaq was the coolest kid from day one. He took his time to do everything including walking speaking, eating etc. Clearly the experience bringing up Raunaq was totally different from Roshni. He was not a milk guzzler like Rosh … he on the contrary had a very laid back and princely approach towards drinking milk – and most of the time just ignored the offer as if saying he is bored -- I literally needed to force him to drink milk. He also preferred to sleep much longer hours and thru the night and generally needed lesser attention and was much less clingy. Whenever he was awake he would be very alert about his surroundings but would never be bothered about expressing himself. He clearly had a mind of his own from a very early age and all thru his growing years (and even to date remains so) his biggest role model was none other than Roshni ... He learnt to use the computer earlier than he could run. He was not even two when he would haul himself onto the cartoon character chair we had in the kid’s room and jab away at the keyboards signaling he wanted me to switch it on for him to play his favorite jumpstart CD. One particular instance stands out vividly in my mind -- now, this may sound unbelievable but it is true – he was calling out to me to switch on the computer but since I was busy doing something, I ignored his request for a while saying, “Ma" and I kept saying "Coming darling” for a few about 5 mins as I was busy attending to something in the kitchen ... so what does our man Raunaq the impatient do about that!?? Well, lil prince climbed onto the study table, switched on the mains, turned on the computer and then clicked on the monitor. I watched curiously for what he would do next … he grabbed his favorite CD from its pack, opened the disk drive and placed the CD in it (with the correct side up) and then waited for the familiar template to show up (which had an auto start the moment you put it into the disk drive) … on seeing his favorite characters on screen he turned to me realizing I had come into the room and that I'd been looking at him ... his adorable face burst into a gleeful smile and he shouted pointing to the screen, “ Ma Ma Ma see” (he spoke only monosyllables at this age). He then jumped up and down on his chair clicking away at all the different buttons and danced everytime some music would play... I think he was also dancing because he knew he didnt need my help anymore and sure enough he would be at the computer at any given time :) He loved climbing things (as was seen in the computer incident above). Actually, he climbed every high surface fearlessly and with great agility. We had bunk beds in the kids room and I would often find Raunaq hanging onto one of the rungs screaming for help as he lost balance on one of the steps. He was also full of pride from an early age. If you were to even look at him with a stern face he would be very insulted and would react with great emotional breakdowns and would be very difficult to quiet him down… Speaking sternly or yelling was totally out of the question. He was a real boy while Rosh the perfect girl. He never spoke squeakily like most kids do. In fact the first word he spoke “Ma” was in a gruff manly voice and I laughed out loud with joy that my baby had finally spoken. This was when he was about a year old. Laughing out loud reminds me of another characteristic of my son – he could not bear if anyone laughed when he said something. So, when he did something cute that thrilled people around him they would laugh with joy and he would think they are laughing at him and burst into tears. This increased with time to the extent that even if a tiny smile broke out he thought you were making fun at him. It took me a long time to convince him that the laughter and smiles were because we appreciated and loved him … Sigh!!! ... We also moved home after Raunaq was born -- we sold the Mira Road house and bought a 2bhk at Kandivili. This was a lot more spacious and we did the children' room beautifully in all the primary colors. As a toddler, Raunaq loved dinky cars that he would race down the corridor; puzzles that he would endlessly work on again and again and again; reading all the Poldy and Time life books that the 3 of us would huddle together to read every afternoon after lunch; cycling on his tricycle in the compund; going on camps with Rosh and me in the compund gardens.

Some unforgettable incidents of our wonder years together were; our trip to Punjab for Sachin' wedding with Roshni dressed in fine lehangas and salwar kameez's and Raunaq in a suit and sherwani; on one of our camping incidents we all got bitten by an army of red bully ants -- Roshni got chased by the stray dogs in the compund and Raunaq got stuck in the lift; Roshni and Raunaq riding on an elephants back; Raunaq slinging his bat on his shoulder from which hung a little bundle that contained a few of his toys, an apple and a set of clothes and saying good bye to us -- he was actually ready to leave home as he was disgusted about going to play school; Roshni speaking to Raunaq with authority like a lil granny 'Raaaaunaq noooo doooont do that'; Akshay and the kids having this bon hommie relationship where he was like the big brother protecting them at Kandivili; Teaching Roshni how to swim; Roshni jumping into the pool with her bathrobe on in excitement of showing Anj how she could dive into the deep; Roshni dressing Raunaq up like a girl; Roshni' first crush Chirag;all their birthday parties; their little friends Utsav, Sanchi, Akshay, Sahil and then later Sanay; Sanju, Bhoomika, Neha and Zeeshan ... beautiful and memorable times together all of which related to me being a mother.

I had quit working with Telerate after my 4 month long maternity leave – I just could not stay away from my lil princess. Farrukh was supportive and somehow we managed to pull thru financially as well. It seemed so right that I spent time bringing up Roshni and Raunaq instead of going to work … to this date I do believe that the 5 years that I stayed home with the children were the most satisfying years of my life and are filled with beautiful memories.

Thru the years, I have always believed in a simple philosophy while mothering my children that I am always there for them in every aspect of their lives and always treat them as my closest friends who I turn to when I am low. That has in turn helped them turn to me as a friend too whenever they need an ear to listen and words of wisdom. I usually have liked to leave the final choices in their lives to come from them so that they learn to be responsible for their choices and actions. I have also told them that they will always have a place in my heart and home but they need to make a place for themselves in this world and I will always be there to guide them -- My philosophy works pretty well most of the time…and yet there are times when I question my mothering and feel that I could have done so much better and that my children deserve better ... I do work hard at improving on a daily basis from books I read, from people I talk to and from movies I watch … it is a continuous learning process and I believe will always be ... I do know this that I am blessed to have Roshni and Raunaq in my life and hope that I can do the rightful justice in their upbringing so that they have a good life ahead ... God!Help me always to make the right choices while guiding my children ... help me do the role you have bestowed on me better ... because they are your children and hence little angels in my life ...