Ritika Weds Asheesh

Whenever I go for a wedding the positive energies and happiness never fails to set me on a high for the next few days. The 25th of Jan 2011 saw my dear friend Ritika and Asheesh tie the knot for a lifetime of love and togetherness and as I smiled fondly at the radiance on dear Rits' face I couldnt help asking myself - what is it about a wedding that I love the most ...the uniting of two souls, unashamedly dressing up in BLING, the splash of colors in the clothes that people wear, the immense beauty on the brides face, the pride in the grooms eyes, the bangles, the veils, the jewelry, the sweets, food, music and dance, the merriment on meeting of old friends and long ago met relatives, the tears, the laughter and the tranquil on the parents faces ... I love it all ... and above all of this I love the hope and the desire to commence new beginnings ... chahe kuch bhi kaho ... yeh shaadi ka laddooo sabse bada gamble hai lekin sabse mast partnership bhi hai. God bless the newly weds :)

India' Republic Day 2011

The morning of 26th January 2011 began like any other @ 6.30AM... I switched off the alarm that croons every morning "..ehsaan itna sa kar dey" as if gently reminding me that I need to do the world a favor by getting off my ass and doing my earthly duties. I walked slowly with my eyes shut (my eyelids refuse to give way these days and my aging knees dont permit speed early in the morning) in the cold darkness, with mechanical precision to Raunaq' room and switched off his fan, snoogled up with him for a bit and then cajoled him to get up. After ablutioning and stuffing our faces with some breakfast we left for his school ... and while we were waiting for the lift Raunaq snapped at me for something inane and we got into a spat over how each of us should not be speaking to each other -- this sudden aggression is a new phenomenon I am occasionally seeing in my adolescent son (needless to say that these are spurts that dont last long and the love bond we share is rock solid!). Thankfully the lift arrived with some unassuming equally bleary eyed people clutching onto their sides for whatever warmth they could garner what with the temperature still hovering below 18 degrees early in the mornings. I sullenly walked in with Raunaq close behind me. I stiffly walked ahead of Raunaq and as we were walking out of the gate someone from the building called out to him ... it was a family whose little daughter Anushka studies in the same school as him. They offered us a lift and although I was irritated thanks to the spat I agreed and got into their CRV.

As I thanked them and exchanged pleasantries Raunaq gave me a side hug and whispered 'Sorry Mom' and I looked at him and nodded approval and the tenseness was over. Anushka was dolled up with make-up and a colorful costume looking adorable all set to do a dance at the school function that morning. Raunaq was dressed in his bright yellow basketball colors .. jersey number 10, shorts and keds. Anushka' father asked looking at the trophy in Raunaq' hand, 'So what is the trophy for?'. Our team won an interschool basketball match Uncle ... this is the MSSA tournament that takes place every year and our team participated and won ... 'Wow! thats cool' and I swelled with pride.

As we entered the school the backyard was milling with students, teachers, helpers and excited parents. A pole stood in the centre with the flag tied to the top in a knot waiting to be hoisted. Soon the welcome address commenced by the Sports Coordinator as the Principal was away for an international tour, the flag was unfurled by the oldest member of the school administration and the crowd began to sing the national anthem. As always, a chill ran down my spine as I watched the motley crowd mouthing the jaya he jaya he ... and when the head girl and boy took the school oath with the entire crowd standing in attention with their right hand extended my tears escaped my eyes and flowed onto my cheeks ... I couldn't help reminisce my school days, the naval parades, flag hoisting at papa' ships and INS Chilka, the illuminated Govt institutions and all the great leaders who have led us to freedom and allowed us this moment of joy 60 years later.

The program organised by the school teachers and students was a burst of color and music and grace and some lovely messages of making the world a better place. Raunaq and his team came on stage to receive their award/trophy for the series of basketball matches they had won in the past month ... moment of pride indeed :)







I had a lovely emotional morning and returned to my building well in time for the flag hoisting ceremony there. Some songs, speeches and recitations by kids and adults alike and a delicious plate of snacks and loads of pleasantries.

I bought 5 flags from a road-side vendor a kid probably the same age as my son ... his name was Abdul and he wanted me to click his picture with his friends which I promptly did ... his smile was priceless... the republic of India had provided him freedom of speech, earn a living of his choice and unabashedly ask for a picture to be taken with a smile without any fear ... he actually made my day!

Life is not a dress rehearsal ... says William Shakespeare!

Yesterday I spent a lovely afternoon with two old friends Sujata and Vidhu that I hadn't met in a long time ... it was a HAPPY MEETING as was proclaimed on the delicious and creamy pineapple cake that Vidhu brought for us to treat on, which we shamelessly dug into forgetting all the calorie concerns that each of us has ... Suju got me two really cute Rajasthani paper mache musicians which have taken up place in our living room.

I felt like sharing this for two reasons - one that it made me feel so warm about the fact that we could pick up the strings from where we left off ... the common ground or bond when we befriended each other some years ago being that our children (their sons Shivam and Koustubh) studied in the same grade as Roshni a few years ago... and since we met yesterday after so long the talking was non-stop trying to catch up on all that is happening in each others lives ... kids, husbands, homes, careers, incidents, experiences etc... Vidhu' jewelry business is doing well and Praveen and her now work together, their older son Chickoo or rather Pranav is now appearing for his CA final year, while Koustubh has joined the CBSE program at Poddar. Suju' young Shivam continues his interest in music and hopes to make a career in it someday while Goldie is doing well in the television industry... yak yak yak yak yak yak we went and didn't stop even on the way to Caravan Serai and through the yummy lunch we had there ... just listening to them and sharing the small victories of their lives and challenges ahead made we feel one with them. I told them about my surprise visit to the US to meet Mapa and my sisters and they were thrilled and got goosebumps and all and then Sujata said something very interesting (the second reason of sharing this post) ... "Im so glad you did this for your sisters and your parents Priya because life is not a dress rehearsal yaar ... hum log apni zindagi plan kartey kartey hi nikal detey hain but you chose to listen to your heart". Vidhu agreed wholeheartedly and hoped to do something as exciting if not more with her family ... I am really glad that I could pass this experience onto them ...

What Suju said is indeed very true ... Most people I know treat life like a dress rehearsal and continually struggle and plan and save and wait to enjoy that one perfect moment while their life listlessly goes by dealing with the daily challenges that come its way and that moment of perfection eludes them and before you know it you are too old to let your hair down ... Worse still life could just decide to come to a close ... very recently a young friend named Sandeep aged 35 passed away suddenly with a severe heart attack (may God bless his soul) leaving behind his young wife who had completed 9 months of carrying their only unborn child ... the baby boy came into this world exactly a week after his passing and the young mother is battling with the emotions of her loss and gain. So life is to be loved for whatever it is and live it to its fullest on each day ... Farrukh, my husband is a living example of this philosophy and has virtually made it his religion in practice; he believes that life is a stage and that we should all play our parts well ... and we have no business in meddling with the life of nature as it has its own course to take, he embraces his destiny whatever may it be and lives his life for the moment ... and because he has this approach towards life he is more satisfied with his life than anyone I know and in his own little ways has a blast on each day of his life ... had he not egged me on to go to the US to share in the excitement of lil Arjun' birth into the family, I would never have taken that trip and that near perfect moment of my life (because Farrukh and the kids could not make it), that I shared with Mala, Anjalika, Mama and Papa on the 13th of October 2009 (their anniversary), would never have happened ... I had done my best to make the trip successful and nature orchestrated it to perfection.

Coming back to our endless yakking ... we continued to sit at the restaurant even after clearing the cheque ... and it was only when Roshni called that I looked at the time ... it was 4.30 in the evening ... time had indeed flown by and we parted ways with hugs and promises to stay in touch more often... check out Sujata, Vidhu and me having a laugh ... shows we sure had a great time :)

Comedy, Ravi Baswani and more ...

People who know me well say that I have an infectious laughter and that when I laugh its as if my insides are going to pop out of me ... I really let go if you know what I mean!? The next most important thing to me after loving my kids and eating is laughing ... I simply love to laugh and hence I screen through all the possible attempts at comedy may they be in films, stand up comedy shows (thankfully beginning to get popular in Mumbai), TV shows and I naturally befriend comic people ...

One really funny person in my life is my own husband and I believe that it was his ability to make me and all others around us laugh out loud is what attracted me to him. And my young Raunaq is fantastic with imitations of comic dialect ... I completely crack up with his acts of popular English and Hindi film scenes that he does with perfect expression and pitch ... we have loads of rolling laugh sessions together :)

An ex-colleague called Bomi at Barclays should switch to being a comic as opposed to being a boring banker ... he would sure do very well ...in fact Joe Coutinho and him should do an act together ... they both have excellent timing and very intelligent humor!!!

And young Shravan, Nilima/Vijay' son is so good with accent imitations and does a fantastic act of various people from across the world and their reactions to their respective team' performances at the recently concluded FIFA world cup in South Africa.

The comic films that completely crack me up are Its a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, Barefoot in the park, Victor Victoria, Super Hero, Top Secret, Hera Pheri, Chupke Chupke, Madagascar, Top Secret, Golmaal, Chalti ka naam gadi, Angoor, Munnabhai MBBS and the best of them all Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro, Kundan Shah' directorial made me virtually roll on the floor with laughter ... each of the characters including naseeruddin shah, ravi baswani, pankaj kapoor, om puri, satish shah, satish kaushik, bhakti barve, neena gupta and even vidhu vinod chopra (as dushasan in the mahabharat climax scene) were fantastic ... what chracterisation kundan achieved and what display of raw humor!



This morning as I was pottering with fixing breakfast and lunch in the kitchen my husband called out -- Arrey suno ...Ravi Baswani, of your favorite film 'Jaane bhi do yaaro' passed away in Shimla yesterday due to a massive heart attack ... flashes of his comic role in the film came back to me, my throat lumped and my heart went out to him and his family... and a smile came to my face as I remembered his performances in Chashme Baddoor and Kabhi haan kabhi naa. He was 63 -- too young to have died and in death too he had brought a smile to my face ... and yet his time was done in this world of ours and he has moved on leaving behind a live wire comedy that will resonate with peels of laughter each time Jaane bhi do yaaro is watched! Wah kya baat hai ...

Is this what you call a mid-life crisis!?

My son asked me a few days ago 'Mom when are you getting a job?' I chided him as I tickled his tummy saying, 'I don't want to work anymore darling because I'm so enjoying my job of playing Mommy'. He smiled as he hugged me and moved on with something or the other but he had planted a seed into my head ... and I was conscious that he had already asked me this question twice before.

On the outside he was just being curious but his bigger unsaid question was, when he can have his PS3 and laptop -- promises that I had told him would be fulfilled when I get a job! As parents we tend to play God and believe that we can fulfill our children' wishes even if it means stretching ourselves for it sometimes. Maybe my baby was just being plain curious or just making polite conversation or was humoring me but either ways it was a hope that I had put in his head and I'm not happy that I have not yet been able to fulfill his wish! Of course one has savings but I don't want to break into my savings. Not that I need to fulfill every wish of my child, specially luxury things like these that he can definitely do well without considering he is in the 9th grade; but nevertheless, his casual question served as a reminder that I need to get on with my life.

Getting a job would undoubtedly help materialize his now silent dreams and yet the thought that has been playing ping-pong in my mind for a while now, and hence it found its way to my lips when Raunaq questioned me; is that I really do not want to do a job unless it is truly challenging and promises a career ahead ...

So, my mind has been churning with some unfulfilled dreams from yesteryear ... the things that I would have loved to do or would love to still do:
MUSIC - I would love to sing or perhaps I could be a Radio Jockey and host a show of english and hindi music from my times
FILM - Act in or maybe direct a film and if it proves successful take it up as a full time career
WRITING - I loved playing story teller from my childhood days -- this is my most favorite option!
COOKING - I love being creative with cooking and believe I am blessed with a good hand too - well yeh main nahin kehti ... log kehtey hain ji ... perhaps open a restaurant of my own!?
MARKETING - create brands or work with a company that understands the importance of having a professionally managed team to market its products or set up my own marketing consulting firm.

Yikes ... this is such a variety of thought ... the only common train being creativity! I am 44 and I'm unsure of what to make of my life ahead ... I'm in the middle of my work life and and am having thoughts of making new beginnings ... is it wrong of me to think afresh!? It's like Ive come to the crossroads of my life and I am scratching my head wondering hard, which turn do I take yaar ... and as ideas race through my mind out-doing each other my heart is weighed down by the financial security I would like to create for my children and my old age, and I am forced to think of what I am putting at stake if I take the untrodden path ... in a worst case scenario, I risk failure and in the bargain lose time and money... and yet there is a good chance that there will be success too because I have the confidence and maturity to take things through all the way ... and so my mind is playing tic-tac-toe ... what do I chose ... I need some heavenly intervention NOW! Godji ... kuch karo!!

Controversies galore!

Amitabh inaugurated a college in Allahabad (his place of birth) on his daughter-in-law, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan' name AND A CONTROVERSY BROKE OUT! -- why does he not make the college in Mumbai when he is living here!?

One of Konkana' dialogues in her movie 'ake up Sid' had the word Bombay in it as opposed to the new and legally enforced Mumbai AND A CONTROVERSY BROKE OUT!! and we were subjected to reels of newsprint about Karan Johar making a beeline to the MNS office.

Shahrukh recently stated that Pakistani cricketers should be allowed to play in the IPL AND A CONTROVERSY BROKE OUT!!!

Aamir said that it is the hero/heroine that make a song immortal and not its lyrics as said by Javed Akhtar the great legend AND A CONTROVERSY BROKE OUT!!!

Each of the above controversies happened in Mumbai and are related with film celebrities ... our lives whether we like it or not continue to be filled with fillum star-related lore/gossip/controversies -- as if we don't have any more callings to bother about; and the media and the infamous minority polity make the most of the slightest spark of information that creeps out of the fillum quarters turning it into an uncontrollable flame ... MNS lately seems to lead such brigades of unemployed rowdy youth who break lose on the city. Why does MNS' agenda for his beloved marathi manus go for a toss when their people cause destruction and the state loses money by delaying releases of films, holding creative juices at ransom and/or eroding GDP of the state? Conveniently targets of most of the controversies are film stars so that there is more hype and attraction to the so called infamous cause of the political entity ... SIGH ... rise above this sham my brethren!

Amitabh did something very gracious -- he named the college after Ash and not his own daughter Shweta ... instead of respecting Jaya and his sentiment of giving so much honor to Ash and also supporting womens education the polity of our state had the gall to say things against him and blow the goodness out of the window.

Why cant Bombay be called Bombay without feeling that some Shiv Sainik or MNS activist will hurl a stone in your direction!?? Isn't this a free country and wasn't this city called Bombay at one time ... Bombay Blues continues to exist as a brand where I am sure even the marathi manus have also grabbed a bite - how come no plans to shut it down!? Are they going to break all the records or cassettes of the song 'ai dil hai mushkil jeena yahan ... yeh hai Bombay meri jaan, should we rename the movie Bombay to Goa as Mumbai to Goa!?? Why make us live in fear of being assaulted because we are brought up saying the word Bombay and that Mumbai doesnt come to our lips as easily!? Why did Karan have to make a mockery of himself and go and apologise to Raj Thackeray!???

I really believe that SRK has the right to express himself about wanting the Pakistani players to play in the IPL - after all why blame the sportsmen of the country!? And why target him when the Times of India is continuing a huge campaign called 'Aman ki Asha' which is endeavoring to unite the two nations? Why isn't any activist bringing down the TOI shutters yet!?

The most recent one on Amir and Javed Akhtar was thankfully not started by the polity but by the stars themselves and the media - radio, TV and print of course lost no effort in blowing the words of both these legends out of proportion. In my humble opinion neither Amir nor Javed are right and these are the reasons why:

- A song becomes a song only once it is sung to music without which it is poetry and hence it is the music that brings life to the poem ... which unfortunately does not draw too great an attraction from the masses... but when the same poem is sung along with music you can hear it blaring from the smallest of hutments to the wedding parties of the elite; from the swanky new BEST AC buses and the sexiest Porsche that has hit the streets and to cabs and the jhankar beat versions in autos ... it is the music that makes the song popular ... Javed please take note!

- Most music albums are released way before the release of the film and hence very often you will hear a song playing for months on the radio and the best ones are played several times a day making them all but mantras of the masses ... there is no star involved at this stage ... the association of the star in fact happens only after you have seen the film and if he/she is a star of your fantasy you fantasize yourself as a part of the song. In fact, so many old age numbers that one has never ever seen on screen are still remembered and sung very animatedly in the ever favorite party game 'Antakshari' and even otherwise bring an association of happiness or sadness in our lives ... Aamir take note ... these songs of yesteryear have nothing to do with the stars that they were filmed on... and yet I am sure that they come to your lips too as you go about your life... just as they do to mine!

TRUTH shall prevail?!

As children we parroted the school poem every morning ... which amidst its other idealistic lines had a phrase that said ... 'TRUTH SHALL PREVAIL'! As a child, I obviously didn’t know otherwise and prided my self when my teacher called me to the front of the class to lead the recitation of the song, as I recited it 'so nicely' compared to the rest of my classmates.

However, despite the daily morning chant, through my growing years, somehow Truth was a choice I seldom made as there was always the fear of consequence... what would Mummy think if she got to know, teacher will get angry, my friend will be katti with me, I have got poor marks - what will Papa say!? Opinions mattered so much and I was too young to know how to deal with the possibly harsh (?) consequences. These fears grew and became not unlike monsters in my innocent mind … seeming so much larger than the tiny me!

Today, as a woman of the house, as a colleague at work, as a friend or as a citizen of the world I consciously choose Truth and preach it, knowing that Truth is ‘Godliness’ and that it spreads ‘Goodness’ and in the over all mix of things it is for the good of all. I believe I have the maturity to deal with the consequences that may come my way and I fearlessly pride myself for abiding with Truth at the risk of being branded a critic or brazen or opinionated or even down right rude. You might say it is stupid of me to be so apolitical but I would rather be upfront about what I think than be a hypocrite and hate myself for it. More often than not I have come through victorious on my resolve because Truth is right for me, for the people in the situation and for the world at large.

And yet the sad truth is that because most people don’t like to hear or deal with truth, more often than I would like to admit, I am forced to bend towards the other end of the spectrum -- examples that I feel guilty about are ... You don’t tell your boss that she or he is an apology of a leader because you risk your annual appraisal getting awry or getting fired, you don’t tell your maid in enough words that her work is horrible as you run the risk that she won’t turn up the next morning, you listen to crap from a popular yet conceited colleague because you want to be on his right side, you hold back irritation with your spouse on mundane issues as you want to keep peace in the house, you mutter your angst with the system within the confines of your air-conditioned car as you inch through traffic-clogged bumpy roads as you just don’t have the time or patience to deal with such things – it is after all the Government’ job, you don’t stand up and fight terrorism or internal enemies of the state that dispel the oneness of India and you don’t put annoying relatives in their place for interfering in your way of life ... strangely despite my advocacy of Truth I find myself numbing to certain situations of my life … and remain silent to what my mind is shouting or I am reduced to humming and hawing and pulling punches and being politically right … my peers/family/friends egg me into behaving so – don’t be ridiculous, you should not be belling the cat … don’t get involved Priya because you will end up getting blamed … mind your own business yaar … bina wajah ke liye phans jaogi … it will unnecessarily complicate your life – and sadly, I allow such things to happen around me … feeding the demon of frustration that builds within me … where is the space for Truth in the throng of the political thought process doing a TANDAV dance within my mind!?! I feel a sense of gnawing guilt as I look around … only to find that everyone else too is in the same boat … making compromises with their conscience, with their school drilled value systems and with their pride … simply because it is easier to be untruthful ... or it is easier to keep quite!

And of course this choice of silence lets wrong continue, lets mediocrity prevail and negativity grow… we allow house help to continue to do shoddy work and hence our home is not up to the standard we are used to or we like, we let people be mean to us without putting up a front, we don’t have the courage to put people in their place and we are reduced to internalised bitching which increases the negative energies within us and our homes and losing our patience with our kids or spouse or parents becomes a vent of our STRESS, we allow people to be unprofessional, we choose to let a bad leader remain bad leading to a frustrated non-performing team which in turn produces poor quality products and services and a dissatisfied customer base, we let a nasty colleague remain so and let gossip thrive making the work environment unhealthy, we continue inching along bumpy roads and cursing our polity for all the mayhem that the country is drowning in and feel good about the 7.5- 8% GDP growth that is attracting all the FII money to goad the SENSEX to higher highs making the rich richer while farmers not so far away continue to take their lives, we continue without much hope making virtually blind and uninformed choices at the polling station year on year, while reading the papers every morning we choose to let the oneness of our country get diluted with only Tsk-tsking at the continued obliteration caused by our so called leaders ... and so on … Our life has become a consequence of these countless decisions of untruth and silence and hence it is only WE who are responsible for our life being the way it is … sadly this is the only truth that prevails!!